Iromono Club
by L3 P3T1T3 PR1NC3
Summary: This is our rendition of the Iromono Club doujinshi. Sanji dresses as a woman to go under cover at a host club to find the bastard that he got dumped for, and possibly put him six feet under. But things never go as planned, do they? Modern AU. ZoSan/SanZo. Yaoi. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: we own nothing at all of OP, or the Iromono Club doujinshi!

Okay, guys! We hope that you enjoy our version of 'Iromono Club'.

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Iromono Club Part 1

Sanji Prince was humming happily as he wiped down the counter of the Habachi Bar and Grill, his shaggy blond hair held back from the right side of his face by the restaurant's logo-ed head band. He had the sleeves of his white uniform overcoat rolled up to his elbows, and the top few buttons of his shirt were undone to beat the heat that had settled over him. Sanji was just hoping that some beautiful women would wander in... That would be the best...

The blond put the drying towel over his shoulder, and grabbed a large stack of dishes from the underneath the counter, bringing them back to the kitchen to deliver for Patty.

As the door swung shut behind him, he heard the bell chime, signalling that someone had walked into the bar.

"Be right with you!" he called, as he placed the dishes in the sink, trying his best to get the soapy water on his hands. Maybe it was a lovely lady~!

He hurried back out of the kitchen, and headed toward the figure sitting at the far end of the bar.

"Oi, what can I get you?" Sanji smiled as he called out to the stranger, rubbing his hands with hand sanitizer. He could tell right away it was definitely not a women. Ce la vive, he guessed.

The man poked his head out from behind the menu listing all the alcoholic beverages they served, that he had seemingly picked up off of a table. Sanji leaned casually against the edge of the bar, hand under his chin, watching the man with curiosity.

He was very unusual looking, but a good kind of unusual. He had smooth tan skin, well shaped dark eyes, and green hair.

'He looks like a model, or something,' Sanji thought, more than a little annoyed as the man tilted his head, making the three earnings in his left ear chime lightly together. Fuck this guy and his stupid perfect face.

"I'll take the strongest sake you've got, a large plate of onigiri, and plate of sushi," he said, his deep voice matching his looks perfectly.

Sanji nodded his understanding. "That'll be all then?" he asked.

The man nodded back, putting down the menu.

"No problem. Be back in a second," he said, walking back into the kitchen, soon returning with the sake and ingredients for the requested items.

He placed the things to prepare the food out in the open, and the bottle of sake in front of the green haired man.

Sanji couldn't help but watch as the man shrugged off his large over coat, revealing a tight, form fitting black long sleeve shirt, and slung it over the back of his chair, having to twist slightly to reach around.

Sanji's eyes were drawn to the patch of golden skin of the marimo's stomach. The blond tore his eyes away quickly, before the man could turn back and see Sanji staring at him like a creep. Sanji ducked his head as he set his things out to hide the awkward pinkish tinge his cheeks cheeks were taking on.

Focusing himself, the chef began to prepare the food as impressively and as quickly as he could, because as Lady Luck would have it, a group of college girls had just walked in, and were just waiting for a handsome blond cook like Sanji to sweep them off of their feet.

"Here you go, green man," Sanji said, placing the man's food infront of him, twirling his knife expertly between his fingers. "Enjoy," he managed to add before he sprinted off to the table of girls.

xxxxx

After he had taken care of the girls, he returned to his place at the bar to clean up his station from the green haired man's dinner. He was surprised to see the seat empty, but his furrowed brow relaxed once he saw the plant head had just migrated to a different table.

As he was cleaning up his station, he heard: "Oi, curly brow!"

His head shot up, eyes sharpening into a nasty glare. Who the fuck was making fun of his eye brows?! His blue eyes swept the room and came to rest on the sake drinking marimo.

"Yo, curly, more sake!" he said again, raising aloft the dark green bottle.

Sanji's eyes were practically bugging out of his head. He had to mentally count backwards by sevens to calm his anger as he approached the onigiri eating customer.

He slammed the sake down on the table. "Any thing else?" he asked very annoyed, through gritted teeth.

The man smirked at the red fury that was taking over Sanji's cheeks. "Nope. Thanks, curly cook," he said.

"The name is 'Sanji', bastard. Not 'curly cook'," Sanji assured him.

The man just shrugged, giving Sanji a heart pounding and sexily rugged smile. "Sanji, eh? Okay. Thanks, Sanji," he breathed as he stood, taking the new bottle of sake. He put down a fifty dollar bill.

"Keep the change," he said, slinging his coat over his arm.

"Thanks..." Sanji said surprised, "But that is way too much. I can't accept it."

"Che," the man scoffed ad he made his way to the door, and pulling it open. "Maybe you can use the extra to get that twirly eyebrow plucked," he laughed, and ducked out the door to avoid the empty sake bottle hurling toward him.

"Bastard!" the blond shrieked as the glass shattered against the door frame. "And don't come back!"

He fumed back over to his cooking station, ignoring the screaming that Patty was aiming at him.

'Damn that green haired jackass! The nerve of that guy!' Sanji was snarling to himself, not out loud. If he said it out loud, then people might think he was crazy or something. 'Next time that damn moss head comes in, I'll kick his ass!' If there ever was a next time, which he hoped there wasn't.

But when the green haired man came in the next time, he didn't end up kicking his ass. Not that time, or the next time, or the next time, nor the time after that. In fact—for whatever ungodly reason—Sanji was starting to look forward to the moss head's company. He ordered the same thing each time: sake, onigiri, and sushi. It was so habitual for the marimo to come in a couple times a week and just sit in the same spot, at the same table, with the same food, that Sanji's whole day would be thrown off if the moss head didn't show.

For six months it went on like that, it wasn't exactly unpleasant, it just became a function of Sanji's life. Things were pretty normal for a majority of that time, then Sanji got a girlfriend. He was happy as could be...until she dump him, and now thhree days later he didn't have a girlfriend anymore.

Usopp was sitting back at the bar the next night, watching Sanji angrily prepare his food.

"What's got you in such a bad mood?" Usopp asked, a bit afraid to poke at Sanji while he was in such a state.

"I was dumped!" Sanji all but shouted, and started to viciously chop the vegetables in front of him.

"Really? That was fast."

"She fell in love with another man," the blond moaned, placing down the knife, and started to pack the rice with the newly cut vegetables.

"What?! She fell in love was a new guy within three days? He must be some guy." Usopp said, placing his elbows on the counter.

"You wanna know what kind of guy he is?" The cook asked in disbelief, and placed his friends order in front of him.

"What-?"

"A host! He's a host!" Sanji sneered as he watched Usopp stuff his face. "Usopp, are you even listening to what I'm saying, because I feel like you're not."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm listening, go on." The long nosed art student assured, continuing to eat at a rapid pace.

"So, anyway, I was wondering if you could come over tomorrow. I kind of have a favor to ask you." Sanji said, calm and casually. It made Usopp look up.

"What kind of favor?" He asked cautiously.

"Just agree now and I'll tell you later." Sanji practically begged, leaning toward Usopp.

"That's not ominous at all," Usopp rolled his eyes, before taking another bite of his food.

"Shut up, you're coming over." The blond said in finality. This wasn't a choice after all.

"Yeah, I'll be there," Usopp obliged, wondering if he would regret the decision later.

Distantly, Sanji heard the bell chime, but didn't to look up. He was concentrated on the sushi in front of him. It was for a beautiful woman with raven hair, blue eyes, and a mysterious smile. He had to get it right.

"It sure is crowded tonight," Usopp observed through a mouth full of food when Sanji came back from giving the lovely lady her order.

"Yeah," Sanji nodded, "All the people who work late shifts are coming in." He saw something move behind Usopp and looked up to see a certain marimo sitting in his usual spot. "Yo, green man, you're early. The usual?"

The frequent customer just waved his hand to signal his approval.

"The usual?" Usopp repeated, "His must come here often, why have I never seen him?"

"He always come after you've already left," Sanji shrugged. "Oi, if you don't eat those mushrooms I'll kick you through the wall," Sanji threatened casually as he saw Usopp pushing his mushrooms to the side.

"I was saving them!" Usopp defended himself.

Sanji rolled his eyes and went to prepare the plant head's meal.

"So, why are you so early then, marimo?" Sanji asked, after walking over to the plant head, and setting down the sake and food on the table.

"Boss let me out early," he shrugged, and took the bottle of booze, opening it.

Sanji sighed, putting a hand on his waist. "How boring."

"What, you think I'm here for your entertainment?"

"Everyone's here for my entertainment, they're all just really shitty entertainers. I should really fire them all," Sanji said dramatically.

"Shouldn't be difficult since you aren't paying them," the green haired man snorted.

"That's what you think. Actually, I'm the richest entity in the universe and I pay all the earthlings on this planet, except you, as a social experiment."

"That sounds like some sort of shitty Twilight Zone episode."

Sanji thought over his previous words. "Actually, it kind of does. The twilight zone kind of sucks though, it was pretty boring."

"You actually watch it?" the marimo scoffed, and burped after swallowing the sake in his mouth. Sanji cringed.

"Nah, I only watched a few episodes and they were really boring. It made me sad. They had such potential."

"They were made in the fifties... or the sixties, I don't know. That shit was pretty advanced back then. Top of the line, and all that." The man said waving his hand in the air in a small circle for emphasis.

"Well, anyway, as your alien overlord, I command you eat your food," Sanji shoved the finished dish toward him.

"Oh, the dish I'm paying you to make me? If I'm commanding the overlord around, does that make me of higher status?" He asked, but pulled the plate of onigiri closer.

"No, it just means I'm tolerating you so I can suck your brains out with a crazy straw when the time is right."

"And with that I'm going to start ignoring you," he said to Sanji, and procceded to ignore the cook by stuffing his face with the food on his plate.

"Well, I was done with you anyway," Sanji sniffed, returning to the bar. As he retreated, he heard a light chuckle.

When he got back to the bar and his friend, Usopp gave him a strange look.

"Yeah, he's a pretty strange guy," Sanji nodded in understanding.

"I'm pretty sure he's not the strange one," Usopp said, and cringed as he shoved all the mushrooms in his mouth in one go, then swallowed.

The rest of the night passed in the usual manner and said cook fell asleep plotting for tomorrow's meeting with Usopp.

xxxxx

The next day Usopp and Sanji were up in the blondie's apartment staring at a cluttered pile of make up that the blond cook had set out.

"Sanji, what the hell is this?!" Usopp asked, eyeing the bag of cosmetics in between them.

"I'm going to that fucking club," Sanji said with determination.

"Dressed as a woman?!" Usopp asked in shock, "Why can't you just go as yourself?"

"I don't want to cause any trouble for Fusako-chan," Sanji defended his former girlfriend. She might have broken up with him, but he still cared about her happiness!

"Ugh, what kind of name is Fusako?" Usopp asked, making a face,

"It's a beautiful name!" Sanji huffed, offended, and pinned back a lock of his hair.

"Whatever, why are you even doing this? You guys were only dating for three days," the long nosed artist pointed out, and picked up a tube of lipstick to inspect it.

"We've been friends a long time. And, I mean, this is a host we're taking about here. I don't want her getting cheated by some scumbag! I just want to see how much of an asshole he is," Sanji said with a shrug, "If he ends up being a prick that exploits the affections of young, and beautiful women like Fusako-chan, then I'll kill him myself. I really need this to work, so you better make me cute."

"I'm just saying," Usopp sighed, picking up a tube of make up, "It seems unnecessary."

"Just shut up and make me beautiful," Sanji ordered, glaring at his friend.

Soon, Sanji was rethinking his plan, because either woman tortured themselves everyday, or Usopp was purposefully hurting him.

"You're doing it wrong!" Sanji exclamied. The pain was terrible, and his eyes were watering like crazy!

"No, I'm not," Usopp argued, practically stabbing the blond's eye with a eyeliner pencil. "If you would just stop squirming, this would be ten times easier!"

Finally after several pain filled minutes, and many failed attempts later, Usopp pulled back from Sanji.

"TA-DAH!" he exclaimed, and Sanji watched his friends face as he took in the finished product of his girl-ified friend.

"..."

"What?" Sanji panicked. "What's wrong?" He grabbed the small mirror off of the side table, and looked at himself.

"Oh my God," he breathed as he took himself in, make up, hair extensions, and all. "I LOOK LIKE A HOOKER!"

He was pretty sure his screech could be heard to China from here, and with good reason too! He had dark red lipstick on his mouth, heavy teal eye shadow over his eyes, and too much pink blush covering his cheeks. Fuck this! He couldn't meet Fusako-chan's lover like this! He'd be a laughing stock!

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" he exclaimed, looking furiously at Usopp. "Isn't this too thick?! No one is going to take me seriously like this!"

Usopp held up his hands, one still holding a blush brush. "I'm sorry, okay?! It's not my fault I've never done make up before!"

Sanji lunged and grabbed Usopp by the shoulders, and shaking him violently. "I said 'Try your best'! Aren't you an art student?!"

Usopp sighed. "I've tried to make it like drawing on a canvas! Doing make up on a person is a very different deal!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? That I'm a fucking oil painting?! I can't go to the club like this!" he said, hanging his head, and dropping his hands from Usopp's shoulders in defeat. "I guess this was a stupid idea..."

"Argh- It's alright, Sanji! Have some faith in yourself!" Usopp encouraged, grabbing hold of Sanji's shoulders. "It's actually really charming once you get used to it. Really, it doesn't look bad at all! That host club bimbo isn't going to know what hit him!"

His friend sounded so sure and determined, that Sanji was actually surprised. He lifted his head, mouth open to thank him, when he shut it and opened it again.

"Look me in the eyes and say that again, you lying jackass," he said instead, seeing that the reason Usopp had said everything so surely and confidently was because the prick wasn't even looking at him.

"..."

"That's what I thought," the blond sighed, feeling a head ache coming on. "Well, I guess it's break or bust..."

xxxxxx

The next day that he got off from work, Sanji spent getting ready for the upcoming night. He had managed to buy a decent outfit at a thrift shop out side of town the night before, and carefully pulled on each article of clothing one at a time, making sure not to mess up his newly cosmeticted face. He had chosen a simple dress with black leggings and boots, but at the last minute decided to throw on a tight black turtle neck underneath as well. For accessories, he added just a necklace, and a small, yet stylish belt for his dress around his waist.

He twirled embarrassingly in front of his full length mirror in his bedroom, inspecting himself. Once he was satisfied that no one would give him a glance and scream out "That dude looks like a lady!", he headed out of his room and gathered his apartment keys, and his cell phone.

"It's okay, Sanji," he chanted to himself as he pulled on his coat, and put a slightly shaky hand to the door knob. "You got this! You are helping Fusako-chan, and making sure she is not making a horrible mistake!" With that logic, his resolve was renewed, and he marched out of his apartment, and to the host club, determination spelled out across his face.

That determination wavered, however; once he stepped through the club's doors and into the lobby.

When he enter that room he suddenly felt as if he'd been shoved underwater and unfortunately he wasn't some sort of amphibian who could breath in that sort of environment. The sound of people's chatter that had been happily buzzing through the air had abruptly ceased to exist. Soon only the 'clack clack clack' of Sanji rhythmic boot steps made any sound. As he walked by, Sanji could hear the whispering of the people around him.

"She's so tall..." one man whispered.

"And her make up is so thick..." murmured another. He heard similar comments as he passed by more people.

'Damn that Usopp,' Sanji cursed to himself, 'That bastard is gonna get it!' Sanji had never really noticed how judgmental people could be before. Now he was seeing how much they sucked.

He held his head high, though, and marched right up to the man behind a counter.

"May I help you?" he asked, slightly uncertain, as he eyed Sanji.

"Y-Yes," Sanji started, slightly choking as he tried to make his voice sound higher and softer than it usually was. He'd been practicing and he though he sounded pretty good but he hoped that everyone else thought it sounded passable. And if I didn't there were always tons of girls with many voices, Sanji would pride himself in his voice being to manly to be mistaken for womanly.

"Alright, miss. First time here?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed in agreement, and nervously played with the fabric of his dress skirt.

"Well," the man smiled, "What kind of man would you like? Happy, and energetic? Silent and brooding? The flirtatious and seducing? Or, perhaps, the innocent, and shy?"

Sanji's mind went blank. Shit, shit, shit. "Uh..." Crap! What kind of man was he?! Sanji frantically picked his brain for the explanation Fusako had given him the day she had dumped him.

'He's a host..." she had started with, and almost everything after that had been lost on Sanji, so hung up on the fact that his girlfriend had found her affections worthy of a host. 'He's not very sociable though...' his memory said, 'But he is very gentle and caring...'

Okay, so gentle and caring, eh? That did him absolutely jack shit, because, neither of those were any of the categories that the man had described.

"...Miss?" the man in front of the blond was saying.

"Uh... I don't, uh, know, " he confessed, blushing.

"Oh, that's alright," the man said kindly, "I can pick for you if-"

"No!" Sanji barked frantically, a little too loud. The man behind the desk seemed startled at the command. "I, uh, mean no thank you," Sanji amended in a better tone. "My, uh, friend, you see, recommended a 'Roronoa Zoro'. She said he was very... caring and kind, so I promised that I would give him a try..." Sanji hoped the lie would work. The words felt awkward as they left his mouth. He wasn't sure if it was because he had just lied or because he'd said he would give someone a try like a flavor or ice cream or something.

The man still looked over the counter skeptically, but none the less nodded.

"Alright, miss. His booth is right over there," the man said, and pointed in the right direction. "I will get him for you."

Without further comment, Sanji bowed lightly, and practically ran toward the booth. Sanji found this whole place a little unnerving, he felt like he was at some sort of farm where men were kept in little crates for people to come play with. It just felt a little creepy and he felt even more creepy to be a part of it. When he got to the booth, he was greeted by a gangly teen with pink hair who introduced himself as Coby.

"Erm, excuse me," he asked nervously as he poured a drink for Sanji, after politely taking his coat, "But you are really tall. Do you play some kind of sport?"

Sanji lit himself a cigarette, and placed it casually in his mouth, taking a deep inhale of the smoke. He didn't see what the big deal was about his height. Sure, by girl standards he was on the tall side but he really wasn't that tall. When they thought he was a man no one ever commented on how tall he was because he was just sort of average, half an inch below average actually. In hindsight he really shouldn't have warn heels. Fuck, this guy had asked a question, hadn't he. "Ah..." Shit, sports, what should he say? "Ki-kicking?" he offered. Yeah, that was totally a sport, nothing weird about that.

"Kicking? What kind of sport is that?" Coby asked, looking a little startled. Sanji could tell that this conversation was going down the toilet fast.

"...Martial arts, I guess? Ah- no, just joking!" he amended quickly with a nervous laugh, thinking of Usopp's advice to him to just be himself. Using words and phrases a girl would, would just invite all sorts of trouble if used in the wrong context. He rapidly tried to change the conversation.

"So... this man, Roronoa, how is he?" he asked, stubbing out his finished cigarette.

"How is he?" Coby repeated, confused. "You designated him without knowing who he is?"

Crap. "Well, uh, no. But I have heard rumors about him," the blond lied quickly.

"Ah, I see~!" Coby smiled, understanding. "It's true recently that a rumor or two about him have suddenly come up, but I can assure you that- Ah! He's coming!" Coby grinned happily over Sanji's shoulder. "Zoro-san, how are you?"

Sanji was about to turn when he heard the host's deep, and entirely too familiar voice.

"Hello, Coby. I'm well, thanks."

Sanji was frozen in place. He'd heard that voice nearly daily for the past six months and it had a tendency to do funny things to the rhythm of his heart. Sanji hated when his heart did stupid things like that, he liked to think it was a stupidity detector because it certainly couldn't be anything else. Slowly, he turned, eye wide with disbelief.

"I'm sorry for making you wait," appologized the green haired man that Sanji had come to know. He sounded unexpectedly sincere. "I'm Roronoa Zoro. It's a pleasure to meet you."

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Alright, we hoped you liked the first part of this story! :D Please remember to review and lets know what you think! We appreciate you all, and love you lots!


	2. Chapter 2

Iromono Club 2

Sanji just stared at Zoro, and Zoro looked right back at him for a very tense moment before the blond stood abruptly, his mind running a million miles an hour.

The image of the man with green hair- no, Zoro- filled his mind. He was a Goddamn HOST?! HOW WAS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!

"H-Hello," he managed to choke out. He could feel the blood rushing to his face, drawing attention to his humiliation. Hopefully he it would be mistaken for embarrassment at the attention as he allowed Zoro to steer him back toward the couch, where they both proceeded to sit down.

Externally, Sanji really hoped he looked like a flustered girl, but on the inside, Sanji's mental image of Zoro had just been shattered and he was doing a double take. Unknowingly, the blond had built up a whole criteria about the no named marimo that frequented the bar, but all of that for naut! This was damning evidence that he would never live to be just like his hero Sherlock Holmes. Except, fuck that guy, Sanji was way cooler than him even if he wasn't the best judge of character. Sanji's pretty bling head was now filled with the image of the man twisting his poor Fusako-chan's feelings around his long fingers, and toying with her emotions. That damn bastard!

'No way!' he wailed to himself as he watched Zoro pour himself a drink, and chatted pleasantly to Coby. 'He's a fraud! He must be the seductive type, luring poor Fusako in to his web of deceit before eating her heart out!' He was like some sort of horrible spider, except probably a female spider because they tended to eat their mates after getting the desired juices for baby making.

'He's not very sociable...' the reasonable side of him corrected, reminding him of Fusako's words, 'He's very caring and gentle...'

Damn it all! 'Does he even LIKE Fusako-chan?!' he was thinking in a panic, totally unaware of the presence of the man behind him until it was almost too late.

Sanji whipped around and came face to face with the marimo.

"Are you alright?" he asked, frowning slightly.

"Y-yes, why wouldn't I be?" Sanji almost didn't have to intentionally change his voice, the panic raised it a few notes on its own.

Zoro leaned even closer, putting his arm behind Sanji's head on the rim of the couche's back. "You just seem to be acting a little weird, is all."

Normally, Sanji would probably have kicked him over the moon for caging in in like that with his stupid attractive face and all, but he was a little off center at the moment so all he could do was sit there as his blush grew steadily darker at the touch of real concern in that voice. It reminded him of something else Fusako had said: 'I noticed his true nature immediately, and I fell in love with him.'

'In love?' Sanji thought as he stared, wide eyed at the man in front of him. 'For real?' What could this Zoro have going for him that would make someone attach the 'L' word so flippantly? Sure, Sanji was a romantic but he was grounded enough to know that instant attraction like that was a little weird and maybe a little crazy.

As he looked into Zoro's questioning, dark eyed gaze, he suddenly realized how close their faces were.

"Gah!" he squeaked, bolting away sharply from Zoro. He had intended to only back up enough for personal space violations to be unbreached, but he estimated his projecting range too short. He over shot the couch bench, and fell roughly to the floor. Could this day get any worse? He groaned in embarrassment, blushing even harder if that was even medically possible.

'Calm down, calm down,' he chanted to himself as Zoro helped him up, and apologized for starling him. 'Focus! Why did I come here? What is my pourpse?' he asked himself. He then replied as confidently as a mental pep-talk could muster: 'To spy on what kind of guy he is, right? RIGHT!' A dark image of a mental play boy Zoro entered his mind as he answered a question of mental Sanji's in the most horrible way possible, and made him grit his teeth as he sat up straighter. 'And if he is a scumbag that plays around with the emotions of women, I'll kick him in the gut!' he thought venomously.

Sanji's imagined himself holding a fist raised in justice at having pounded the snot out of Zoro for his horrible and perverted ways. But then a another voice inside of him pointed out another idea: What if he wasn't like that at all? What if he was actually a good guy?

'And if he's a good guy...' Sanji thought a little dejected, 'Then what should I do?" Damn. The that thought hadn't even crossed his mind.

Sanji took a deep breath, and faced the man the he had come to see. He had to focus on the objective here. "Ah, Roroano-san, why are you a host?" he asked, trying to sound interested rather than accusatory. He waited for Zoro's answer with a heavily beating heart.

Zoro looked at him sharply for a moment and Sanji worried for a moment that he might have offended the man but instead he got a little hum and a sigh. "That's the first time anyone's ever asked outright like that," he said, "I don't seem much like a host, do it?"

"Ah... yeah, not so much. You seem very natural, but not really suited for this sort of thing," Sanji shrugged, lazily accepting the glass Zoro passed his way without really thinking about it. The glass was smooth in his slightly trembling fingers.

Zoro snorted with a small grin, leaning back against the couch. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"I didn't mean it as a complement," Sanji huffed, setting down his drink, the ice clinking faintly against the glass.

"Whatever," Zoro said, still smiling, "I'm just here so I can buy back a sword."

"A... sword?" Sanji was getting a little lost.

"Yeah, it belonged to an old friend of mine and now the club owner has it," Zoro said with a shrug. "He said I had to work here to buy it back," he added with a grimace.

Well, shit. That made Sanji a little sympathetic to his position. Well, at least he wasn't doing think for the power trip, so that was good.

Zoro let out a slight sigh, then looked a little startled before saying quickly, "You should probably pretend you didn't hear that."

Sanji raised a curly brow, showing his confusion. "Why?"

"I... may have accidentally answered your question irresponsibly," the green haired host responded, taking a sip of his own drink.

Sanji rolled his eyes, the guy was probably supposed to keep the conversation upbeat. "I might forgive you if you let me smoke," Sanji bargained hopefully.

Zoro gave a shrug, and looked at the blond out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, go ahead."

"Give me a light?" Sanji asked, wiggling the cigarette between his fingers. He lowered his eye lids seductively, and looked at the man next to him.

The host looked at him oddly for a moment before laughing, "Sorry, of course." He drew himself a cigarette and lit the end, placing it into his mouth. "This okay then?" he smirked, steadying the cancer stick between two of his own fingers as he shifted closer to Sanji.

Sanji grinned right back. 'What a smug bastard,' he thought as they both leaned in to light the end of Sanji's cigarette on Zoro's. The atmosphere around them was steadily changing to less uncomfortable, and more to like it was when they were together at Sanji's restaurant. Zoro's spicy smell reached Sanji's nose, and the the blond cross dresser in haled deeply under the guise of taking a drag from the stick between his long fingers. He straightened slowly, keeping his eye locked on Zoro's and murmured a low and husky thanks. The host seemed to shiver a little involuntarily before straightening himself as well.

'At least he doesn't seem the type to lead the ladies on,' Sanji thought with relief, and concluded if that was the case, then he didn't have a reason to be there anymore. He looked at the clock and realize that almost two hours had passed.

"Hey, you should come back here again," Zoro said as they both stood, and Sanji was offered his coat by Coby.

"Yeah?" Sanji asked a little surprised.

"Yeah, it's easy to talk to you," Zoro said, lightly scratching the back of his neck as Sanji buttoned his coat.

The blonds eyebrow twitched. 'That is probably due to the fact that we are both men,' he thought, 'and the fact that we talk several times a week.'

Zoro nudged him from his thoughts, and offered a slip of paper. Sanji took it and made a face. Like hell he was coming back here! The bill was through the fucking roof! "Yeah, I'm defiantly not coming back, pal." Sanji said, flashing the slip of paper as proof. That was a hell of a lot of zeros for not even two hours.

"Fine," the marimo said, sitting back down. "Then at least tell me why you really designated me. I mean, you obviously aren't here for the usual reasons."

Sanji sighed, and adjusted his coat collar. The moss brain probably deserved that much. "I came here to see what sort of guy you are," he tried to say casually, and not like a complete stalker.

"What?" Zoro asked confused.

"One of my friends fell in love with you and I thought that a host was an unexpected choice," Sanji explained offhandedly and took out another cigarette. "I figured I'd have a look for myself, and, if you had any ill intentions, I'd kill you."

"Have I escaped murder than?" the host asked, sounding amused.

"Only by a hair," Sanji grinned a little roguishly, "I guess I can understand what she sees in you." Sanji set the fresh cigarette in his mouth and nearly dropped it when he realized what he'd just said. But Zoro really was a good guy... wasn't he? Sanji was seeing a weirdly different side of this man and it wasn't entirely repulsive. It almost made him attractive.

No,wait, no! That wasn't right! The blond was so caught up in the shock of his thoughts, he only realized that he'd frozen when he noticed Zoro asking if he was okay.

Sanji jumped back as Zoro lifted a hand in concern. "Don't touch me! Don't come near me!" he yelled. Heads turned in his and Zoro's direction.

Zoro opened his mouth, shocked at this sudden turn of events.

"No, shut up, don't even say anything!" The blond shouted hastily before he turned and and stumbled a little as he bolted away. Whatever just happened was weird and Sanji had didn't know if he liked the warm feeling spreading through his chest, but he knew that he wanted nothing to do with it. So instead he attempt to ditch Zoro, he ran like a wild cat, wanting to get away from any potential problems that totally shoudn't exist.

Unfortunately for him, Zoro apparently thought it would be a grand idea to go chasing after him.

"Wait," he heard the host calling, "Where are you going?!"

Eager to escape, Sanji's continued increasing his speed as he ignored any calls for him to stop. He managed to keep the green haired man a good distance behind him, but couldn't shake off him completely.

"Stop chasing me!" Sanji's shouted over his shoulder as he ran under a bypass, the moon light guiding his way.

"Stop running away, dammit!" Zoro shouted back, continuing his pursuit. Damn, this guy could run fast!

Sanji clenched his teeth and pushed himself harder. Like hell he would stop! The two running men were pretty far from town by this time. Well, not that far, but on the outskirts for sure. The moon was full and casting enough light to allow for a good view of the sidewalk as well as the river running alongside it. Sanji would have liked to admire it, but he was too focused on not falling on his face. Running in heels was hard. Why had he thought heels were a good idea?

As if to highlight what a terrible idea his choice of shoe wear had been, his left heel snapped off and he began to stumble forward, his momentum carrying him while his body had stopped. Everything after that until he hit the ground seemed to slow down.

His immediate response was to throw his hands out in front of him to catch his fall, but if he did that then his hands would get be scraped and that would be a pain in the ass for work. But if he didn't, his face would receive the brunt of everything! Shit, shit, shit! So, instead of over thinking it, Sanji took the most logical of the logical choices and threw himself forward into the fall. Once again, luck was not on his side as he stumbled his way down the hill toward the river, falling on his face near the bank, and skidding deeply in the dirt.

After a few moments he heard Zoro slid down the hill beside him, panting like a dog. If it were a less humiliating situation then Sanji might have been satisfied with his far superior running skills and he'd even had the handicap of wearing heels. Now though, he was almost too humiliated to move. Oh God, this was the worst idea ever! Why had it taken him so long to realize this?

"Oi, are you okay?" Zoro huffed and loosened his neck tie as Sanji started to pull himself up, not saying anything. "Oi, don't ignore me! I'm trying to help here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He knelt down on the grass across from the blond, with a frown of concern, as he tried to calm his breathing.

Sanji took a deep breath, and kept his eyes adverted toward his lap. It had been a long night and, really, at the moment he just wanted to crawl away and drown all dizzying humiliation he was swimming around in.

What he really needed was a little comfort. In the face of everything that had happened, what did it matter if he did one more fucking stupid thing? He could forgive himself just this once for being a stupid girly idiot. And at this point, Sanji decided fuck it and leaned over toward Zoro to rest his stupid blond head on the marimo's shoulder. God, he was being such a girl. He didn't want to look at Zoro, he didn't want to know what he was thinking. Then he felt Zoro's arms lightly encircle him.

"What's wrong?" the host asked, his tone more conversational and less like he was actively seeking an answer.

"Nothing," Sanji mumbled, face still burning, but not moving. Human contact felt good.

"Why'd you run?"

Sanji hesitated, "I can't tell you," he decided. No, he didn't WANT to tell the marimo.

"Is it because you actually might like me, shitty cook?" Zoro wondered amused, his tone not changing from its casual hum.

Sanji jolted, his breath hitching in his throat. Fuck, he knew. That made this situation about ten times more embarrassing, if that was even possible. He tried to pull away from Zoro but the marimo's arms around him kept him still, one hand going to the back of his neck and holding him firmly in place.

"Nope, you're not going anywhere," he said lazily as he stilled Sanji's motions with his deep and relaxing voice.

"How!?" Sanji demanded though a face full of fabric. It was a little hard to talk with a face smushed in someone's shoulder. "How did you know?"

"I knew from the start."

"What? How the hell?"

"Eyebrows, idiot," Zoro said, releasing Sanji from his grasp, "It wasn't exactly hard to figure out."

Sanji pulled back and put a hand to his eyebrows, feeling like a total dumbass. His eyebrows really should have been the first thing he disguised. He hoped to any godlike entities out there that no one else had recognized him.

What a miserable failure his mission had been. He'd gone in to scope out this guy and ended up finding a certain attraction for him, only to find out that Zoro already knew who he was and had just guessed that Sanji might like him. Just a little, it wasn't a big deal, it was just a little attraction. That was all.

Sanji let out an audible groan of misery, hanging his head in shame. "Ugh, I just wish I had control of the universe so I could blink you out of existence."

Zoro let out a long sigh and placed a heavy hand on Sanji's shoulder. "Don't feel too bad. I mean, sure, you're an idiot, but I like you a lot."

Sanji's head rose an inch or two at those words. "What?"

Zoro shrugged. "Well, why else would I eat at that place so often?"

"That's the reason?" he asked in disbelief. Sanji was too shocked to be annoyed that it wasn't the amazing quality of his food that had him coming back for more.

Zoro chuckled and playfully tousled Sanji's hair, "Yeah, that's the reason."

Sanji let out a huff of laughter, his demeanor shifting, and took the hand from his hair, and looked up to Zoro who was watching him curiously. Sanji brought the marimo's warm hand toward him, and brushed his mouth over Zoro's knuckles, leaving a faint line of lipstick as he did so. "Thank you very much," he grinned as he took in Zoro's oddly blank expression, hoping that under all this darkness he was going pink. It was a shame he couldn't tell.

He hovered for a moment before quickly standing up, "Well, I'm off," he said, brushing himself off a bit. Zoro stood as well, his former confidence gone as he shifted awkwardly where he stood.

Zoro watched as Sanji turned and started to make his way down the sidewalk away from him, limping from the broken heel. Gotta make a cool exit. No looking back.

"Oi, your heel," Zoro pointed out.

Sanji turned back to look at him for a moment before looking down at his shoe. "No problem," he said as he leaned over to break off the other heel off.

Zoro watched oddly fascinated, the cook seemed so much more comfortable in his own skin now that he had nothing to hide. He supposed that actually made a lot of sense.

Now, with two equally broken heels Sanji took a step forward toward the host. "Hey, Zoro," he said, tossing the broken heel over his shoulder as Zoro bent down to retrieve his discarded coat.

"Hmm?" the moss head asked as he straightened.

Sanji then closed the gap between them, placing his lips on Zoro's.

He heard Zoro drop his coat, and inhale sharply with shock. Sanji took advantage of this, and placed his hands on the side of the marimo's face, and kissed him deeper, his tongue sliding into the man's open mouth.

Zoro groaned, and responded by kissing him back as Sanji's arm encircled around his neck. He was just about to place his hand on Sanji's waist, but the blond abruptly broke the kiss, pulling back.

"Hey," Zoro asked, confused, trying to pull Sanji back, but the blond stepped out of his reach.

Sanji held up a hand between them.

"...What?" Zoro said, still not sure what was happening until Sanji turned, and held two finger in the classic victory sign.

"Gottcha," he said with a wink or it would have been a wink but he had hair cover the half of his face he winked with so unfortunately Zoro couldn't tell how cheeky he was being.

"...So..." Zoro said, catching on to Sanji's plan, "You broke off the other heel..."

""In order to run away right now," Sanji finished with a shit eating grin, turning and sprinting away again, wailing in his head, 'I'm sorry Fusako-chan! I'm the worst bastard here 'cause, from now on, we're rivals!' This night had definitely not gone as planned.

XxxxxxxX

"Hey, what's that?" Usopp asked around the food he was putting in his mouth. They were all in Sanji's apartment, throwing a party for Zoro. The marimo had been in the middle of telling Usopp the story of how the two men had started their relationship, and had stopped, leaving the artist on edge to know the end.

"A beer?" Zoro answered as a question, looking strangely at the long nosed man he had come to know through Sanji.

"I know that!" Usopp exclaimed, "I am asking what happened after Sanji kissed you, and ran! Did you catch him?!"

"Oh..." Zoro said, taking a sip of his beer. "Well, that was a little more than half a year ago... I don't... really remember..."

Usopp shot to his knees and looked darkly at Zoro. "Is that because you did something against his will?!" he exclaimed, "He came back looking like a ghost, and his clothes were torn, and his make up all smugged!"

"Why the hell was that the first thing you thought of?" Zoro asked, making a face, "You think he has like battered person syndrome or something?"

"Well, I didn't but now I think he might," Usopp said, his eyes narrowed.

"That's pretty fucked up right there. I promise you, blondie only partakes in things he is one hundred percent into," Zoro hummed.

It was then Sanji decided to reappear from the kitchen. Sanji glared at both of the men in the living room, tray of hot food in hand, and kicked a slipper at Zoro, it hitting him right in the face, and knocking him back.

"What the hell was that for?" Zoro demanded.

"I don't know what the hell you were talking about but I'm sure it was stupid." he huffed, "Think of it as a preemptive strike against the stupid. Anyway, let's eat!" he said, and set the tray of food on the table that they were all gathered around.

Sanji cleared his throat as Zoro straightened, "Well then, I'll start off by saying that this party is in honor of the shitty marimo for getting back his friend's memento safe and sound."

Usopp and Sanji cheered loudly, while Zoro just grumbled something vaguely irritated under his breath, but Sanji ignored it.

As the night wore on, and they all got buzzed, and eventually Usopp passed out, drunk as a skunk.

"Well," Zoro said, "He's out cold."

"He's not out cold,"Sanji mumbled, "It's more like he's wasted. You let him drink too much, you stupid marimo," he accused.

Zoro waved his hand in dismissal as he drank down the last of his booze.

"Oh, so you knew?" the green haired man asked around the can.

"It's not that I didn't know..." Sanji admitted. Well, he hadn't bothered to stop Usopp either. "Well? How did you know?"

"Well," Zoro repeated, "it was because he kept asking about that story." He then waved Sanji to come closer.

Sanji smirked, and grabbed Zoro's waving hand in his own, bringing it to his lips as he leaned forward.

Zoro sputtered. "That's not what I meant!"

"Haha," Sanji laughed, getting closer to the marimo, and his pink face. "I know that!"

Zoro grabbed hold of Sanji, while the blond continued to laugh. Neither were worried about Usopp, the long nosed art student really was unconscious.

"Why are you alright with THIS," Sanji asked with a shit eating grin as Zoro pulled him onto his lap, "But you get embarrassed as hell when I kiss you hand? Hmm?"

"You're a noisy bastard," Zoro growled, then yanked Sanji's mouth down to his, and gave him a deep, opened mouth kiss.

Sanji kissed him back before pulling him away, and hugged his marimo close to him.

"Ahh..."Zoro sighed and relaxed into Sanji's embrace as the blond held him. "You calm me down way better then any of those annoying female customers," he said, and barried his face into the crook of his blond's neck and shoulder.

"Wow, you're really gay. Thank you," Sanji said, and smiled as Zoro kissed his neck, and shivered as he nipped lightly at the sensitive, pale skin.

He felt Zoro frown a little. "What for?"

"For working so hard at a job that you didn't like, with clients that you weren't into whatsoever," Sanji explained, tilting his head to give Zoro better access to his neck. "All for a sword that you treasured. Most would've given up a long time ago."

He felt Zoro smile against his skin. "I can think of one client that spun my head," He laughed, and tightened his arms around the long legged blond in his lap. Then he said, "I am really glad I got the sword back."

"Me too," Sanji hummed. "Hey, wanna take a shower with me?"

Zoro pulled back and gave a lecherous grin. "Hell yes," He said, and stood, taking the blond with him, and walked into the bathroom. Both had forgotten about the passed out Usopp on the floor.


End file.
